whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
