Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
