i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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