I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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