I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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