Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize