broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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