So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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