So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
