Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
