oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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