omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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