...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
this will be a night to untag.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
