I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
