Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
