If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
