One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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