you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
