dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
