Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize