I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
