oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
