There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
