quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
