A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize