I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have aggressive nipples.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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