why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
