I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
