White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
