My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i think im in europe. pls send help
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
