i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
