Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
