Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
