How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
