the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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