Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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