Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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