My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
