I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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