Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize