U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
