I hate all girls vehemently.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
