my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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