Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
