I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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