Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
