You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
