Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
