I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
