If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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