Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
