Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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