For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
