her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
