Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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