she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Randomize