Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
