Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
What a fucking waste of an outfit
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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