um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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