Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
