We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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