the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
