I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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