I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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