Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
