I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
